Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Reason To Get A Dog In 2010

You get out of speeding tickets. No, really. I know this to be true having experienced it first-hand. Wait. Why do we say “first-hand”? Or even “second-hand”? Don’t I have two hands? What if I designate one as numero uno and the other nombre deux?

Obviously, whoever came up with that lovely saying hung out with a bunch of handless people.

ANYWAY, back to the evasion of tickets. Here’s what happened:

Roll down window. Well, hit the button to lower the window.

Officer: “Hello. I pulled you over for your speed today. Do you know how fast you were going?”

My dog licks the officer’s hand repeatedly.

Me: “I’m really sorry, Officer. Stoli, stop it!”

Officer: “Oh, no. It’s okay. I love dogs. License and registration please.”

I hand him my license, registration, and proof of insurance. Yes, I went over and above.

Me: “Well, he certainly seems to like you.”

Officer pets Stoli and smiles at him.

Officer: “My LIDAR clocked you at 82. The speed limit is 55, Miss.”

Stoli begins to lick his face.

Me: “I’m so sorry. Stoli, he doesn’t want to make out with you!”

Officer: Laughs. “Okay. I’ll be right back.”

Officer walks to car. He comes back seven minutes later and gives me back my information. Stoli returns to loving on him.

Officer: “Here you go. I’m gonna let you off with a warning this time. Slow down, okay?”

Me: “Oh, yes, Officer. Will do.”

I drove away and got pulled over AGAIN for speed by another CHP. The same thing happened. Yeah, it’s awesome. You should get a dog, a cute one, if you need to clean up your driving record.


  1. Nice...I'm going to keep this one away from my husband. He doesn't need any extra excuses to get a dog.

    But your dog is super cute. Even coming from a chick who prefers felines...well actually I prefer no pets at all

  2. Most excellent advice. I'll keep it in mind. ;)