Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Reason To Get A Dog In 2010
You get out of speeding tickets. No, really. I know this to be true having experienced it first-hand. Wait. Why do we say “first-hand”? Or even “second-hand”? Don’t I have two hands? What if I designate one as numero uno and the other nombre deux?
Obviously, whoever came up with that lovely saying hung out with a bunch of handless people.
ANYWAY, back to the evasion of tickets. Here’s what happened:
Roll down window. Well, hit the button to lower the window.
Officer: “Hello. I pulled you over for your speed today. Do you know how fast you were going?”
My dog licks the officer’s hand repeatedly.
Me: “I’m really sorry, Officer. Stoli, stop it!”
Officer: “Oh, no. It’s okay. I love dogs. License and registration please.”
I hand him my license, registration, and proof of insurance. Yes, I went over and above.
Me: “Well, he certainly seems to like you.”
Officer pets Stoli and smiles at him.
Officer: “My LIDAR clocked you at 82. The speed limit is 55, Miss.”
Stoli begins to lick his face.
Me: “I’m so sorry. Stoli, he doesn’t want to make out with you!”
Officer: Laughs. “Okay. I’ll be right back.”
Officer walks to car. He comes back seven minutes later and gives me back my information. Stoli returns to loving on him.
Officer: “Here you go. I’m gonna let you off with a warning this time. Slow down, okay?”
Me: “Oh, yes, Officer. Will do.”
I drove away and got pulled over AGAIN for speed by another CHP. The same thing happened. Yeah, it’s awesome. You should get a dog, a cute one, if you need to clean up your driving record.