Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Reason To Get A Dog In 2010

You get out of speeding tickets. No, really. I know this to be true having experienced it first-hand. Wait. Why do we say “first-hand”? Or even “second-hand”? Don’t I have two hands? What if I designate one as numero uno and the other nombre deux?

Obviously, whoever came up with that lovely saying hung out with a bunch of handless people.

ANYWAY, back to the evasion of tickets. Here’s what happened:

Roll down window. Well, hit the button to lower the window.

Officer: “Hello. I pulled you over for your speed today. Do you know how fast you were going?”

My dog licks the officer’s hand repeatedly.

Me: “I’m really sorry, Officer. Stoli, stop it!”

Officer: “Oh, no. It’s okay. I love dogs. License and registration please.”

I hand him my license, registration, and proof of insurance. Yes, I went over and above.

Me: “Well, he certainly seems to like you.”

Officer pets Stoli and smiles at him.

Officer: “My LIDAR clocked you at 82. The speed limit is 55, Miss.”

Stoli begins to lick his face.

Me: “I’m so sorry. Stoli, he doesn’t want to make out with you!”

Officer: Laughs. “Okay. I’ll be right back.”

Officer walks to car. He comes back seven minutes later and gives me back my information. Stoli returns to loving on him.

Officer: “Here you go. I’m gonna let you off with a warning this time. Slow down, okay?”

Me: “Oh, yes, Officer. Will do.”

I drove away and got pulled over AGAIN for speed by another CHP. The same thing happened. Yeah, it’s awesome. You should get a dog, a cute one, if you need to clean up your driving record.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Holiday Epiphany

So, my Christmas tree is up, but no ornaments adorn it. The reason, you ask?

Doing anything other than working on my latest project makes me cringe.

Obsession is fickle. Usually, by this time of year, the Carpenters Christmas album has been played a million times, the house is covered with evergreen and twinkle lights, and all of the presents are wrapped. Not this year. No ho! This year, rather, this holiday season, all I think / dream / talk about is Summer’s End.

I’m pretty sure friends and family want to slip me a roofie and lock me in a closet until I come back from fantasyland. And yes, loved ones, I’ll be watching my eggnog very closely come Friday. Just kidding.

Or am I?

Anyway, the thought occurred to me that maybe my blog is like my tree. It’s set up with a few (SHINING) posts, but I’ve kind of been ignoring it. This might be a good time to slip in the cliché about the lights being on… NO! No clichés. Bad writer.

So, in the honored tradition of New Year’s resolutions, I would like to try and decorate my blog with more (SPARKLING) posts in 2010.

What are your resolutions?

Monday, December 7, 2009

Quick Update: Autumn Made the First Round

Over the weekend, I pitched my first novel, Autumn Leaves, to Agent Shop on Musetracks. 24 finalists, including me, will have the opportunity to have their pitches read by the awesome Kevan Lyon of Marsal Lyon Literary Agency. Cross your fingers for me.

If you haven't frequented the Musetracks sight, you should start. The four writers who run it often collaborate with agents to hold pitch sessions. They also have a great archive of author interviews.
That's all. Now back to writing Summer's End and driving my neighbors crazy with constant Christmas music.