Monday, March 8, 2010

The Military Channel

“Babe! Hey Hil!”

Oh! My husband calls. Time to be the dutiful wife.

The swishing sounds of my crinoline skirt accompany me as I prance into the family room all Lucille Ball-like. Birds begin to chirp outside and the sun shines a wee bit brighter with my entrance. This is my blog post after all. Don’t mind me.

"Yes, my dearest most wonderfullest man o' mine.” I hand him a plate of freshly-baked cookies while I straighten my lace apron.

No, not really.

“Did you know we get the Military Channel in HD?” He smiles and squeezes the remote control tightly to his chest whilst squealing with delight. I might be exaggerating, but again, my blog my rules.

Little did I know this amazing discovery of television programming would haunt me. For weeks.

Battles and more battles and then more history about battles...

Throw in some shows about the newest technology for blowing things up and that’s about all I’ve heard coming from the big light box hanging on the wall. Granted, explosions do sound pretty cool in Dolby 7.1, but I digress.

An epiphany struck. Perhaps he loves the Military Channel because he was once IN the military. That got me thinking about writing. What if there was the Writing Channel?

Would I subject him to hours upon hours of literature history programs and interviews with famous authors?

What about documentaries on “the novels of the future” where we watch authors type their manuscripts and become victims of rejection?

Now that sounds like some quality television.

Reality shows like “Survivor” and “The Biggest Loser” could focus on writers pitching to agents. Hmm…

Anyway, the Military Channel is annoying. Thanks for reading.


  1. Ha! I feel your pain. My husband is more the hunting, fishing type of guy and yes, those shows are boring too.

  2. kidding or not, a On Writing, Authors Authors, History of Writing, etc. is something that I would watch! Throw in some explosions, gratuitous gratuity, helicopters... Man, I need to write to Comcast...