Funny Thing Happened...

I cut my hand open today. To be exact, I was pulled into a metal door jamb by my dog and scraped two layers of skin from my index finger. And because of my awesome aversion to blood, shock set in almost immediately.

Yep, that’s right, dizziness combined with nausea and sweating in equal parts. Loads of fun let me tell you. The one thing I thought as my head tumbled between my knees in the “I’m not gonna faint” position was how am I going to type with a bum hand?

A startling question since I’ve been hosting an epic-scale pity party for the past two months, the theme being, “Everyone’s making it but me” complete with depression draught and procrastination pie. Maybe scraping up the layers of emotional epidermis forced inspiration to flow to the surface.

I think it’s time to work on a new book. What do you say?

The Military Channel

“Babe! Hey Hil!”

Oh! My husband calls. Time to be the dutiful wife.

The swishing sounds of my crinoline skirt accompany me as I prance into the family room all Lucille Ball-like. Birds begin to chirp outside and the sun shines a wee bit brighter with my entrance. This is my blog post after all. Don’t mind me.

"Yes, my dearest most wonderfullest man o' mine.” I hand him a plate of freshly-baked cookies while I straighten my lace apron.

No, not really.

“Did you know we get the Military Channel in HD?” He smiles and squeezes the remote control tightly to his chest whilst squealing with delight. I might be exaggerating, but again, my blog my rules.

Little did I know this amazing discovery of television programming would haunt me. For weeks.

Battles and more battles and then more history about battles...

Throw in some shows about the newest technology for blowing things up and that’s about all I’ve heard coming from the big light box hanging on the wall. Granted, explosions do sound pretty cool in Dolby 7.1, but I digress.

An epiphany struck. Perhaps he loves the Military Channel because he was once IN the military. That got me thinking about writing. What if there was the Writing Channel?

Would I subject him to hours upon hours of literature history programs and interviews with famous authors?

What about documentaries on “the novels of the future” where we watch authors type their manuscripts and become victims of rejection?

Now that sounds like some quality television.

Reality shows like “Survivor” and “The Biggest Loser” could focus on writers pitching to agents. Hmm…

Anyway, the Military Channel is annoying. Thanks for reading.

Caught Up

Have you ever been so caught up in something that everything else vanishes?

I call this “Tunnel Vision Syndrome” AKA “Hilary’s Personality.”

There are positive aspects to this, I assume. Things like completing tasks quickly and perfecting the results… but at what cost?

Over the past month or so, my laser focus shifted to the negative and I completely dropped out of my online life. Sorry, guys. The good news is I’m coming out of it as evidenced by this blog post.

Being a writer can take its toll. For all of your hard work, there’s no external accolade, no one there to pat you on the back save friends and family, but aren’t they just a bit biased?

I’m no pessimist. Pshaw!

Anyway, part of getting better is forcing my eyes to see the whole spectrum, not just the one color I’ve deigned to be my obsession. And that’s what I’m determined to do. I’ve reevaluated my goals and set them against reality. I should write for me, improve my skill for me, tell a story for me – not for the hope of becoming the next Brown / Meyer / Rowling. Delusions can seduce you then leave you bitter.

Any thoughts on this?

Someone sent me this quote a while ago and it cracked me up. They suggested I substitute “publication” for “truth.”

“The road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with annoying bastards.” – Alexander Jablokov

Just don’t let your self-doubt become the biggest bastard. :)