Getting Older

Well, my friends, 30 is within sight. It looms on the horizon like a dark silhouette against the light of day. Dramatic, right? ;)

So, with time stalking me, I have to ask myself, how can I become younger instead of older?

Here are some of my ideas: 1 - Getting injectibles and/or plastic surgery. While this may erase the effects of time from my visage, will it really make me younger? Also, who has the money for that these days?

2 - Resorting to cougar-dom. Will dating a 23 year-old make me feel sprite? I guess it depends, but it's certainly not worth losing my husband.

3 - Dressing like a high schooler. Forever 21 is pretty cheap, but I'm not sure exposing my muffin top is good for anyone, especially me.

4 - Committing to fake-and-bake. It seems the women who subscribe to the above three suggestions, love to spice things up by tanning incessantly. Tan skin is better than blinding-white skin, at least that's what people tell me. Maybe I should consider it. I mean, how bad CAN melanoma be?

Honestly, all of this sounds like too much work. I think I'll take my chances with the approaching darkness. See you guys on the other side.

By the way, Happy Easter and Passover!